Throughout these past couple years, I have spent a lot of time and energy feeling bad for myself and believing all that my mind and emotions is who I am and is always with me. I have changed the course of this debilitating spiral over the last few-months, but particularly these past couple weeks.
I have done things that make me uncomfortable like cold showers, meditating, sitting with my thoughts, and questioning the truth of the thoughts that come to mind instead of allowing myself to continue these made up stories in my head. I have had bad days where things were not going how I wanted and I have failed many times. I realized by continuing to find structure, balance and pushing myself, that we are in control all of the time through the way we choose to react and interpret situations. There are so many times in our lives where we feel like the walls are caving in on us and there is no way out, that we have screwed ourselves over or times where we tell ourselves "when will you ever learn."
I was talking to a very close freind recently who experiences some of the same anxiety as I do about days getting ruined and momentum being lost because of a negative situation that occurred in the middle of the day. We each described how it really through a wrench in our day and through this discussion I came to realzie that we are doing it to ourselves. We have such high expectations of what we "have to" accomplish and get so easily triggerered when things do not go a certain way or some adversity pops up at an awkward time. We are so thrown off and cannot see a way through, nor can we see clearly how much greatness we have already accomplished in our day. I said to him that we should choose to not allow it to ruin our days, but instead, take it for what it is.
Take all of the great things you have in your life, things you have earned, were gifted, or the people around you and then think of them. How lucky you are to have such a support system around you? How unfair is it that you are letting such petty issues play in the forefront of your mind when you already have so much? There is no use spending valuable energy on things that you cannot control when you can choose to simply recognize the emotion you are feeling, try to figure out why you are feeling that, and determine if the root cause of the emotion is something that is true. Take action to be more aware of it and make the change going forward. In the meantime, don't be so hard on yourself and be grateful for all you have as this small chunk of time or emotion that pops up is just a small part of you. We must be grateful in order to be content in this life, because you never know when it may all be stripped away from you.