Updated: Feb 28, 2022
I am not here in search of any pity; however, I am here to be open about my life and the things I have been through. These experiences have made it very important for me to be constantly self-aware and reflect on where I am at as well as reflecting on my own emotions or feelings.
I lost 4 family members when I was 14, and since then have been very obsessed and scared of death. This triggered a lot of different thoughts, patterns in behavior including a year where I was extremely depressed and questioning everything around me, feeling bad for myself on a daily basis. I also have experienced some severe anxiety over the last couple of years that has made me a lot more sensitive and a lot more self-aware of my own needs for my mental health. I felt a lot of self-doubt, self-hate, and disgust daily that it became overwhelming, but eventually, I came out on the other side and it showed me the way I need to destress when things start to spiral out of control.
Over the past few years, it has become extremely important for me to eliminate negative people from my life and make sure I make the people I value feel loved and appreciated. I have learned these values through the concept of reflected appraisal because it was the people, I still have in my life that reminded me that I am a good man. They reminded me of these things I forget sometimes and show me that I am loving. These important friends, family, and loved ones have made me feel valuable and important and have helped me shape my values, morals, as well as dig myself out of some dark spots and get myself back on the right track.
My self-esteem and self-concept have a huge barring on my interpersonal relationships. I say this because if I do not feel like myself, my friends and family take notice and I cannot communicate as well because I am not clear or thinking straight if I am anxious or feeling low about myself. I think a lot of people experience these same things and situations like I am describing. A lot of times I will be so overwhelmed with emotion I don’t feel like talking to anyone who is not like me at all. This affects my personal relationships because I then need to lean on my friends for advice or to get me back to level ground. This is nothing to be ashamed of, however, as we all need this on a daily basis; people to be there all the time when you are proud of something and when you are not feeling good about yourself.
The positive side of my self-concept is that I have become very aware of my inner feelings and emotions and have developed healthy ways to deal with them that do not affect my relationships. I use exercise and therapy to express myself and the thoughtful, caring man I have developed into allows me to really connect with people I have relationships with and be more open to talking about things I may not have been able to before. I also feel more heavily armed to be able to give people good advice and be there for my people when they need me.