This year, I have experienced the most growth in my golf career compared to any other year. I believe I am comparing myself to others significantly less, making better decisions and commitments on the golf course, and becoming much more patient throughout the entire process. However, I must admit that I initially expected my school year to go smoother, but I had to deal with a neck injury and face some real adversity due to my anxiety.
Working with my sports therapist, Stephanie, helped me understand the roots of my emotions and heal from the burdens I had been holding onto for so long.
I came to realize that it is never going to get easier until I accept who I am, including the parts that might not always be perfect. Viewing it as a daily challenge rather than a struggle resonates better with me, as I have repeatedly shown myself that I can overcome challenges.
Every day, I am learning that hard work and dedication to my craft not only help suppress self-doubt but also enable me to embrace adversity and bad days. Laughing off the crappy shots, accepting injuries, and finding ways to become a better person and a more equipped athlete are essential.
I have been searching for the negative in situations for too long, blind to the fact that I am improving and should be proud of myself. I've lost the ability to appreciate my own successes because I'm always focused on what's next and how to improve. Taking a breath and showing compassion to myself, acknowledging all emotions—whether anger, happiness, confusion, fear, excitement, or love—is crucial. Emotions will pass, and it's pivotal to recognize and appreciate everything life offers, even amidst bleak and frustrating times, to find the positive in what I once viewed as negative experiences.
Now, let me get real. I still struggle daily with anxiety, experiencing difficulty falling asleep as I worry about the future and regret things I didn't do in the past. There's no shame in talking about my anxiety, depression, or darkest moments in life. No one should be afraid to share their struggles.
I want everyone reading this to know that they are much stronger than they give themselves credit for. You are enough. You don't need validation from Instagram or anyone else to know your worth. You are a gift to this world, and people care deeply about you. If you're facing battles behind closed doors, don't hesitate to reach out and talk to someone. Life isn't easy for anyone, and the first step is loving yourself. It's taken me a long time to work on that, with daily reminders of my greatness.
I've often felt like I'm not doing enough and that everything has to happen at once. I struggle to give myself credit when I accomplish things, even when I thought I couldn't. However, these doubts and fears push me to grow. It's pivotal for all of us to understand our weaknesses, question them, and approach them with curiosity, asking tough questions.
Why am I being so mean to myself? Why am I not showing myself more compassion? Why am I scared? Will my life truly change or be affected by these circumstances? Can I choose to be proud of myself for showing up regardless of the outcome? Are there more options than beating myself up like this? Can I choose to let go and fully accept what happened? What if something great is right around the corner? Can I be a little more patient? Why not me?